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</html><description>Before you read further let me state that I am totally sane and I know what I write down is a part wishful thinking and part hallucination. But it happened and I want to document it. I quit maintaining a personal diary 6 years back and just to document this one event I do not want to start a diary. It is personal and I am not even sure I want to share it on my blog but here we go. It was Feb 14th. It was a day with a lot of special significance for us beyond the traditional Valentine&#x2019;s day and Chinese new year. It was the day kuttyma turned 5 months old and it was the death anniversary of my grandfather as per the Tamil calendar. As always the week depresses me it makes me feel guilty, lonely, lost and sad. It is a painful reminder of what I lost and what I wish I had done. But it is the past and at times I wonder if I am just stubborn and I refuse to move on. These memory tides especially the painful ones crash against me and in pain I recall the last moments. It [&hellip;]</description></oembed>
