{"id":8284,"date":"2014-10-10T14:39:43","date_gmt":"2014-10-10T04:39:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/?p=8284"},"modified":"2014-10-02T14:45:17","modified_gmt":"2014-10-02T04:45:17","slug":"worrywart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/","title":{"rendered":"Worrywart"},"content":{"rendered":"

This post first appeared in Indian Moms Connect<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Thump! Thud!<\/p>\n

My heart skips a beat. I wait for the yell, the scream, the agony, tears that will follow.<\/p>\n

In that split second between the thud and the next sound I stop. I mean a complete stop. No skimming through my Twitter timeline, glancing at the Whatsapp group chats, watching the glass of tea spin in the microwave – complete halt. I shut down mentally with my ears open and heart racing. It is like that stillness after a major storm. The eerie silence that highlights my racing heartbeat. A chill runs through my spine and a bone-chilling gust of air seems to hit me.<\/p>\n

It is at that these random microseconds one becomes aware of the super computer within. The mind is like a crowded gridlocked traffic disaster and\u00a0 thoughts are like those two-wheelers that swerve and squeeze through the gaps – between cars and trucks with cursing drivers, buses filled with kids and the lone woman driver debating about dinner. These thoughts are worst-case scenarios. You would be surprised how many of them I could come up with.<\/p>\n

May be it is a broken bone (well that is the best of the worst) or did the table fall and crush her? My mind and heart work on overdrive. I try those techniques I had scoured the internet for. Deep breathes, counting to 10, trying to divert my mind. Nothing works. How will it? My feet I realise have involuntarily moved towards the origin of the sound.<\/p>\n

STOP! I command myself and I freeze. I stand indecisively – halfway between the living room and my daughter\u2019s room (dump yard is a better way to describe the place honestly). I try to convince myself that I need to check on my daughter. My baby – who could be badly hurt. I fail miserably. Instead I try to find reasons to build a house without corners to bump into and lead a life sans furniture. I know all the arguments and reasonings behind rough play and the need for kids to bump and thud. But it does nothing to my calm me.<\/p>\n

I retract my ears still tuned in for a cry or whine. I walk backwards to the living room and collapse on the couch. \u201cEverything fine?\u201d I screech. My voice sounds shaky and angry. It doesn\u2019t show the fear, the pain, the momentary abandon of sanity that hit me a second earlier. Instead it sounds like the voice of a mother – a weary and irritated mother.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am fine amma. Nothing broke,\u201d the reply floats my way. I lean back on that couch and close my eyes. I will those scary pictures of blood, gore, pink, purple and glitter to move away. \u201cShe is fine,\u201d I say with a sigh and a smile to no one. \u201cShe is,\u201d I repeat pushing myself up. I retrace the path and knock at the partially shut door of my daughter\u2019s room. I put my head in and soak in the sight of her. My eyes do a quick scan. All seems fine. The crooked tiara made of floral hair slides decorated that riot of curls, a crazy, off-centered bindi on her forehead, a stack of mismatched bangles, my duppata tied on her waist, a stuffed toy tucked beneath her arms – a normal sight indeed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d she asks, her little voice carrying irritation. \u201cWant something to eat?\u201d I ask as I feel the guilt of lying to my daughter. \u201cNo thanks,\u201d she replies in that accent-laced voice, perfectly toned to imply I-can-see-through-your-tricks. \u201cHave fun,\u201d I say walking away, a smile flirting on my face as I recollect her avatar. My heart is back to normal and there are no chilly gusts of air freaking me out. It is a moment of contentment as I walk away.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t get hurt amma. I just fell down and I am fine,\u201d her voice floats down the hallway. I freeze yet again. Am I so transparent? I wonder. Do I wear my worry and concern on my sleeve? Sighing I yell out, \u201cThe next time you fall, scream out I am fine before I start worrying.\u201d<\/p>\n

I better get working on that house with no corners and furniture soon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This post first appeared in Indian Moms Connect Thump! Thud! My heart skips a beat. I wait for the yell, the scream, the agony, tears that will follow. In that split second between the thud and the next sound I stop. I mean a complete stop. No skimming through my Twitter timeline, glancing at the Whatsapp group chats, watching the glass of tea spin in the microwave – complete halt. I shut down mentally with my ears open and heart racing. It is like that stillness after a major storm. The eerie silence that highlights my racing heartbeat. A chill runs through my spine and a bone-chilling gust of air seems to hit me. It is at that these random microseconds one becomes aware of the super computer within. The mind is like a crowded gridlocked traffic disaster and\u00a0 thoughts are like those two-wheelers that swerve and squeeze through the gaps – between cars and trucks with cursing drivers, buses filled with kids and the lone woman driver debating about dinner. These thoughts are worst-case scenarios. You would be surprised how many of them I could come up with. May be it is a broken bone (well that is the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[191,620],"tags":[162,621,642,1344],"class_list":["post-8284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-room","category-mommy-gone-overboard","tag-kuttyma","tag-motherhood","tag-parenting","tag-writings"],"yoast_head":"\nWorrywart — PoohsDen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Worrywart — PoohsDen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This post first appeared in Indian Moms Connect Thump! Thud! My heart skips a beat. I wait for the yell, the scream, the agony, tears that will follow. In that split second between the thud and the next sound I stop. I mean a complete stop. No skimming through my Twitter timeline, glancing at the Whatsapp group chats, watching the glass of tea spin in the microwave – complete halt. I shut down mentally with my ears open and heart racing. It is like that stillness after a major storm. The eerie silence that highlights my racing heartbeat. A chill runs through my spine and a bone-chilling gust of air seems to hit me. It is at that these random microseconds one becomes aware of the super computer within. The mind is like a crowded gridlocked traffic disaster and\u00a0 thoughts are like those two-wheelers that swerve and squeeze through the gaps – between cars and trucks with cursing drivers, buses filled with kids and the lone woman driver debating about dinner. These thoughts are worst-case scenarios. You would be surprised how many of them I could come up with. May be it is a broken bone (well that is the […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"PoohsDen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-10-10T04:39:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Vinitha\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@vinitha\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@vinitha\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vinitha\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Vinitha\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/6feebf25fcf1853b61a30db448a6efe3\"},\"headline\":\"Worrywart\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-10-10T04:39:43+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/\"},\"wordCount\":718,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/6feebf25fcf1853b61a30db448a6efe3\"},\"keywords\":[\"Kuttyma\",\"Motherhood\",\"Parenting\",\"Writings\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Family Room\",\"Mommy gone overboard\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/\",\"name\":\"Worrywart — PoohsDen\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-10-10T04:39:43+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Worrywart\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/\",\"name\":\"PoohsDen\",\"description\":\"Words * Family * Travel * Food * Fitness\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/6feebf25fcf1853b61a30db448a6efe3\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/6feebf25fcf1853b61a30db448a6efe3\",\"name\":\"Vinitha\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/IMG_6936.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/IMG_6936.jpg\",\"width\":683,\"height\":1024,\"caption\":\"Vinitha\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\"},\"description\":\"Writer, Environmental Engineer, Sustainability and Climate Change Believer, Dance Aficionado, Bibliomaniac, Opinionated Mom, and Wanderer. Poohsden is Vinitha's other home.\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Worrywart — PoohsDen","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Worrywart — PoohsDen","og_description":"This post first appeared in Indian Moms Connect Thump! Thud! My heart skips a beat. I wait for the yell, the scream, the agony, tears that will follow. In that split second between the thud and the next sound I stop. I mean a complete stop. No skimming through my Twitter timeline, glancing at the Whatsapp group chats, watching the glass of tea spin in the microwave – complete halt. I shut down mentally with my ears open and heart racing. It is like that stillness after a major storm. The eerie silence that highlights my racing heartbeat. A chill runs through my spine and a bone-chilling gust of air seems to hit me. It is at that these random microseconds one becomes aware of the super computer within. The mind is like a crowded gridlocked traffic disaster and\u00a0 thoughts are like those two-wheelers that swerve and squeeze through the gaps – between cars and trucks with cursing drivers, buses filled with kids and the lone woman driver debating about dinner. These thoughts are worst-case scenarios. You would be surprised how many of them I could come up with. May be it is a broken bone (well that is the […]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/","og_site_name":"PoohsDen","article_published_time":"2014-10-10T04:39:43+00:00","author":"Vinitha","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@vinitha","twitter_site":"@vinitha","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Vinitha","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/"},"author":{"name":"Vinitha","@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/6feebf25fcf1853b61a30db448a6efe3"},"headline":"Worrywart","datePublished":"2014-10-10T04:39:43+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/"},"wordCount":718,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/6feebf25fcf1853b61a30db448a6efe3"},"keywords":["Kuttyma","Motherhood","Parenting","Writings"],"articleSection":["Family Room","Mommy gone overboard"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/","url":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/","name":"Worrywart — PoohsDen","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#website"},"datePublished":"2014-10-10T04:39:43+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/worrywart\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Worrywart"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/","name":"PoohsDen","description":"Words * Family * Travel * Food * Fitness","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/6feebf25fcf1853b61a30db448a6efe3"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/6feebf25fcf1853b61a30db448a6efe3","name":"Vinitha","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"http:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/IMG_6936.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/IMG_6936.jpg","width":683,"height":1024,"caption":"Vinitha"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/"},"description":"Writer, Environmental Engineer, Sustainability and Climate Change Believer, Dance Aficionado, Bibliomaniac, Opinionated Mom, and Wanderer. Poohsden is Vinitha's other home."}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8284"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8284\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8285,"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8284\/revisions\/8285"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ourowncorner.com\/poohsden\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}