There are moms who write beautiful letters to their kids and as much as I wish I could write one for kuttyma on her birthday I cannot. I am just not one of those moms.

I look back into the past 2 years of my life and the changes motherhood brought about. Like everyone I have heard how much motherhood changes one but I was never ready for it completely. Kuttyma continues to blow me away every single day. I will not say the past 2 years have been a breeze or a dream come true because they were not. It had its own highs and lows. I love being a mother as much as I hate it. Maybe hate is a strong word but there were times when I missed those days where I did not have to be a mother first. There were days when I did not want to think about bed times and diaper changes and toys.

Today, kuttyma is a rather independent, naughty, demanding girl who loves books and speaks Tamil with an American accent. She loves books and is a parrot – she repeats every single word I utter. She throws tantrums and has nightmares (about people stealing her books). She loves craft work, coloring and did I mention books? She has untameable curly hair, super dry skin and can handle the Ipad better than her great grandmother.

I wish I can say more about this girl who fills my days and nights with happiness, tears, fear, responsibility and dreams but I have no words.

Happy Birthday Kuttyma